First off today was the Polynesian where we got the dreaded (drumroll) T O N G A T O A S T
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| T O A S T |
This is kind of hard to describe. It's two absolutely massively thick pieces of bread with a layer of banana in between that's fried in batter with sugar on top, and it's served as a massive bread cube. As if that isn't enough, we then also poured maple sugar on top of it. I really hope my endocrinologist isn't reading this. Also, bacon. Here's a picture of what it looks like once the cube has been breached to try and help visualize it:
Then it was off to Hollywood Studios!
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| Is this Hollywood Studios? You can't prove it isn't! |
Here we started with Midway Mania, where I managed to beat Katie's score for the first time. Her strategy is rapid-firing, while my arm gets tired pulling the lanyard over and over again. Katie won all of the rounds except the last, where I managed to somehow pull the lanyard more than her at the stationary target and catch up and just nose past her. Or she let me win but is too nice to admit to it. 50/50 chance.
After that is Rise of the Resistance, which is just as great as I remember and I won't say anything more about for fear of spoiling the magic. After that was Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway where absolute buffoon Goofy almost killed us sending our train car flying. This ride is as close as you can come to riding through a cartoon and I won't say anything more for fear of spoiling the magic. Also, Goofy is a menace and should absolutely not be entrusted with the safety of passengers. How he got Employee of the Month at Runaway Railways is a mystery to me.
Last up was Star Tours. We could have stayed longer, but by this point we were sweating buckets. Wait, did I show a picture of the grenade diet coke yet?? No?? Katie!! Get the grenade diet coke picture in here!!
So we were sweating. Despite it only being 78 degrees, a little hit of direct sunlight will have you melting. Also, Mr. Genius Man here started getting low on blood sugar and then discovered that the high-sugar s'mores bars he packed specifically for vacation didn't actually make it into the backpack we took into the park. So I had no choice but to eat 2000 calories of funnel cake and powdered sugar. I really hope my endocrinologist isn't reading this.
Last up was Star Tours, which unfortunately seems to be locked in Rise of Skywalker mode - normally the ride cycles between 6-8 scenes, but the last two times we've been on it it's the wrecked Death Star moon and then the salt planet from the end of Last Jedi. I hope they're going to move it back into totally random mode; I wanna go to Kashyyk and meet those wookies! Also, we got 60,000 pins you're all going to see and have to pretend to be interested in. Hey, what's Katie up to while I'm writing this trip report? Oh, she's drawing something on her mother's town board.
OH, OKAY. Well, let's go eat dinner now. Tonight is Sebastian's Bistro, the sit-down place at our resort.
We ate:
House-baked Rolls with Plant-based Guava Butter and Caramelized Onion Jam
Nick: I liked the bread. I liked the plant-based guava butter, which I could not tell was plant-based guava butter. The caramelized onion jam was NASTY. Who wants to eat fried onion on bread?? That's just weird.
Katie: I liked the rolls. I liked the jam (Ed. note: WRONG), but I liked the butter better.
Next up is the Spice Necklace Salad: Mixed Greens and Kale with Toasted Pumpkin Seeds, Grilled Pineapple, Orange, Spiced Candied Walnuts, and Radish with Key Lime Dressing
Nick: Pretty good! I wouldn't have thought that key lime dressing would be good, but it somehow was. Tasted like key lime pie, except a kind of key lime-y dressing. I even ate a radish cut into a flower shape and a real flower, which was a little odd. I could have done without the pumpkin seeds, but they're not a huge problem.
Katie: It was fine. I enjoyed eating a flower. The radish was pretty good.
Susan: I was surprised the key lime dressing was decent.
Taste of the Caribbean: A selection of our favorite dishes inspired by the flavors of the Caribbean. Impossible™ Kabob, Fried Jerk Tofu, and Impossible™ Sausage served with Cilantro Rice and Red Beans, Vegetable Curry, and Grilled Broccolini
Susan: When the salad is the best part, it tells the whole story.
Katie: The sausage was such a good facsimilie that I hated it just like the real thing. The tofu was good with the mango sauce but it was almost the only thing Nick liked so I let him have it. The stick stuff (ed. note: Impossible™ Kabob) was a good imitation of meat and that would be why it was just okay. The vegetarian curry was great and mixed well with the rice.
Nick: UM.... The skewers tasted like real meat. The tofu, and get ready because this is probably the first and last time I'm ever going to say this, the tofu was the best part. It's fried (and jerked?? can you jerk tofu?), and it doesn't have the slimy texture I don't like about tofu. Kind of creamy, rice-like. It was, I don't know if I wanna say good, but not bad with the mango sauce that isn't mentioned up there in the meal description was the best part. I don't want to talk about the Impossible™ Sausage. Let's just all pretend the Impossible™ Sausage never happened and never speak of it again.
Susan: Tasted like my grandmother's. Not awful. They can put that on the sign. "Not awful"
Katie: Yuck!
Nick: Oh, no! Oh, no! This was real bad! We got the vegetarian version of this and I don't know what goes in coconut-pineapple bread pudding that is an animal product, but it had no taste except pineapple, which I do NOT like, no sir. Amazingly bad. I think this may be the worst thing I've had at Disney. Even the plant-based ice cream was bad. Sebastian, what are you doing?? What is this??
So in conclusion... uhhh. Well, now we know. If you want somehow 100% flavorless cake or plant-based, umm, skewers, you know. Here you go. You never know what's going to be good or not until you try it. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes, umm, yeah.
I guess that's kind of a depressing note to end on. How about another nice sunset resort picture?
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