Disney 2011, Day 1

Our day started at 4:15 AM. The only thing that we don't have is our camera. Now, yes, I know, I can hear you punching your computer with rage, shouting "Nick, you're extremely good looking, how could you not bring your camera??" Well, allow me to explain.

An amusing anecdote about why we can't find our camera because our house is a mess to placate angry readers

One day a few weeks ago there's a knock on our door. A policeman is outside who says that the house next door has been burglarized and asks if our house has been hit. No, I tell him, looking around to make sure nothing's missing. "Are you sure?" he asks, peering in the front door. "It sure looks ransacked!"

So that's where our camera is, somewhere in the living room. Maybe we'll get a disposable one. Or more probably not take many pictures. We can take the ones from the last trip and draw fake mustaches and "It's 2011" messages on our shirts. It's called recycling and going green, thanks.
We got the airport around 5:30 for our 6:30 flight. Myself, Katie, and one other guy were the "Business Class", so we got to board first. Our flight was uneventful except that one of the passengers was a werewolf and he bit a flight attendant and then the flight attendants ran up and down the aisles biting people, so now we're werewolves.

How to enliven a story that boils down to "We got up, went to the airport, took a plane and then took a bus"

Make up a story about becoming a werewolf after one of the werewolf flight attendants bit you.

When we arrived, we zoomed through the non-existent line for the Magical Express, aka Bus To Your Hotel. We're staying at the Polynesian, one of the top-line hotels, along with the Contemporary, that's hollow and the monorail DRIVES THROUGH YOU GUYS, and the Grand Floridian, which is grand and in Florida.

Considered & Rejected Names for the Grand Floridian

Walt Disney's You Come, You Stay, You Pay, You Get the Hell Away
Walt Disney's Dismal Floridian
Walt Disney's Place You Sleep In
Walt Disney's Too Long Joke That Ends Now

We got some nice leis on the way in, and despite arriving at like 10:30 AM due to how early our flight is, our room was ready. This is a great room, too, I think Katie's taking pictures with the ipad. There are LIGHTS INSIDE THE CLOSETS, have you heard of such a thing. We also have a Lagoon View (more expensive than what we almost got, the Parking Lot View - yes, that is not a joke), so we can see out over the bay the grand floridian, contemporary, and Space Mountain in the magic kingdom. We had a lunch reservation at the Rainforst Cafe, so it was off to the busses to go to Downtown Disney where the restaurant is located. Our lunch got off to a weird start as the waiter came over and went "Hello ladies," but after two Green Pythons we were feeling better. Katie got WORLD PASTA, which was pretty good, although as far as I could tell it was spicy ziti. I guess that's a delicacy in, um, the world. Also, our glasses read A WILD PLACE TO EAT AND SHOP, but mine had worn off, so it said A PLACE TO EAT AND SHOP, and I was like haha, it sure is. That's what you find amusing after two Green Pythons.

On the way back to the hotel we were treated to a long, inane conversation from our fellow bus passengers. One thing I have learned is that people love complaining about prices; I got to hear about how a gentleman's chicken fried steak costs $10 in a restaurant when it costs $3 to prepare. Well, sure, I wanted to point out; How does he think that people pay for the space, tables, silverware, electricity, food, waiters, chefs, dishwashers, etc? Sure you can cook a meal for yourself cheaper at home; You're paying for not having to do it when you go out to eat. I guess it's just as well I didn't say anything as this guy then proceeded to explain that he had diabetes, but it was self-diagnosed and he ain't goin to no doctor or takin no pills, he just doesn't eat cole slaw. Then we heard about how he's oppressed because he's caucasian (note to self: Go back and insert sarcastic reference, probably "Obumbler re-disributed my going to the doctor to his inner-city supports. Thanks, Obamugabe").

After that we lay around the room for a while, then had dinner at the Kona Cafe. I got the sweet potato and lemon grass bisque, which was very tasty. For the entree we both got the pan-asian noodles, me with chicken and Katie with tofu (ew, barf). This is noodles, chicken, red and yellow peppers, a few onions, snap peas, and broccolli. For dessert we had the infamous banana creme brulee, which is just as great as it was last time. The bill came to $86, except we have the meal plan, so we only paid the tip, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Just now the nightly fireworks started going off over the lagoon, so I'm going to go watch those from the chairs out on the deck. Boom.

Wife's Report:  Lady I sat next to on the plane thought I was 23.  Had a very cute conversation with a little girl on the bus to the hotel about Cinderella.  Generously let Nick have the bed farther away from the window.  Did not go overboard on the first day buying pins.  Should have brought pj pants!