Today we did Ostia (THE PORT OF ROME); It’s as far afield as we’ve been yet. To get there we got up, walked to the trolley area, took a trolley, got off, took a bus, got off, took the subway, got off, and took a train to Ostia. If that sounds like a pain in the ass, amazingly, it isn’t, for two reasons. The first is that Roman public transportation has a very un-Italian efficiency; We waited for the trolley for two minutes, rode it for 45 seconds, waited for the bus for two minutes, rode it for five minutes, waited for the train for one minute, rode it for five minutes, etc. Actually, the longest amount of time was spent on the second train waiting for enough people to show up so the train would leave! Total travel time was under 90 minutes, which brings me to point two: The public transportation pass. When you buy a pass (1 Euro), it’s good for 90 minutes after you use it the first time – so as long as we got on the bus and both trains within 90 minutes (and we did), it ended up costing a Euro apiece for all four forms of transportation.
Now of course, there are guys who go around checking to make sure that you have a ticket and that you’ve actually activated the ticket, but I have yet to see one, and I think they just give you a ticket, so if you were a dishonest person, you can ride around all day for free and only risk a scolding. But that’s not very nice, now is it?
Most of the actual trip was uneventful – looking out windows – but there were two things that stand out. The first is that my father asked us to keep an eye out in the train station, as this is when pickpockets like to strike, and he had a backback on that they could try to unzip. So I was on high alert the entire time; it kind of felt like guarding the President, although Katie and I didn’t have enough time to come up with a all-caps nickname like a Tom Clancey novel. Nobody tried to rob anyone, so I didn’t have a chance to throw myself in between his backpack and a theif while yelling NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO in slow motion. I’m holding out hope that at some time during the vacation I will be able to yell NOOOOOOOO in slow motion while leaping at the camera as a building explodes behind me.
Katie asked that I include a description of “Lots of butt to butt touching on the subway”, so let me put it here: On the way back, the subway was super crowded, There was lots of butt to butt touching on the subway. I ended up sandwhiched between Katie’s butt and the butts of three Muslim women (or at least three women wearing hijabs [look it up nerds]). I’m not sure whose butt hers was touching besides mine since the subway car was packed in as tight as the vatican museum, which takes some doing!
The second thing that stands out is a totally gross ad for, I think, a language school. It features a picture of a smiling woman’s mouth, with two, adult, full-size, tongues coming out of it. I get the idea behind the picture, but good god, it looks like the last thing you see in a really low budget horror movie. I tried to get a picture of this, but apparently everyone getting these updates has great karma, so I was unable to. If you want to replicate the image, try this: Open your mouth as far as it goes and hang your tongue out on side like a panting dog. Now imagine another tongue, the same size, coming out the other side of your mouth. On second thought, don’t. Bonus fun fact: Every time the word “tongue” has appeared in this paragraph, I’ve spelled it wrong (“tounge”) and had to go back and correct it. The more you know ~ ★
So anyways, Ostia Anticia (“Ancient Ostia” – not to be confused with the modern town of Ostia). This was really nice. Basically, the main road of the ancient Roman town is preserved, and you can walk down it and see the ruins all around you. If you want, you can go off the main road and actually walk around inside the ruins, which is great. I can’t imagine something like this in America, both because you’d never be allowed to walk the ruins, and because it would be packed with a billion people. There were some people here, that being myself, K-ham, my dad, and about 90 Germans, mein herr. The area itself is nice; there’s a fair amount of shade, some nice breeze, and there are now pine trees all over the place, so you can walk on pine needles instead of the uneven cobbles most of the time. The big attraction is the mosiacs in the area that used to be right by the bay; merchants would set up on these streets and commission mosiacs in front of ther store showing what they were selling (grain, transportation, elephants, transporting elephants eating grain, etc.) I hope this sounds interesting, because I took about 90000 pictures of these, and chances are good you’re going to have to sit through them.
The other thing I took 90000 pictures of was the cat who came over to look for food while we were eating lunch. K-ham named this cat “Ostia”, cruelly disregarding my suggestion of “Ass Butt Face Jones”. We didn’t want to get too close in case the cat had fleas, but she was a great ham at asking for food, and made out pretty well (three pieces of perschutto, and a piece of bread, which she actually ate). She also tried to eat my dad’s shoes and crawl into his backpack. I got some photos of her sitting in my spot between K-ham and my dad, thus making it appear that I had been turned into a cat, for humerous effect, old bean. I say.
Ostia Anticia was a great place to visit, but not so much to write about, so that’s all – stay tuned for the endless pictures. It’s almost like being there! (Not really.) Tomorrow we’re doing the Capitoline Museum, which will probably have less Germans in it, mein frau.
MOST LITERAL STORE NAMES SEEN: “Drink & Food”, “SILK TIES”
(HOPEFULLY) LEAST LITERAL STORE NAME SEEN: “ROGER”
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