Disney 2011, Day 10

Exciting Things That Happened In Between the Last Report And Now
I realized that I could look at the receipt and figure out what we ate at the San Angel Inn.

Nick Hammer & The San Angel Inn Receipt

Tell me a book with that title wouldn't fly off the shelves. It would only have to be a page and a half long, too. Turns out that, ahem, I got the tiacoyo chilori, which I think is spelled wrong because nothing turns up when I google it, and Katie got the tostadas tinga. Tell us more, "Lil's Mommy" from Yahoo! answers, the least trustworthy source on the Internet:

Tinga is a basically a stewed pork dish, cooked with a chipotle sauce and most commonly served on tostadas--most common form of tinga. It's a meat dish that is slowly cooked in a spicy chile sauce and then served in a traditional food wrap such as a tostada, a tortilla or a taco shell. Typical ingredients include cubed pork shoulder or loin, chorizo sausage, tomatoes, chipotle chiles, onions, and garlic.

Okay - wake up, that part's over. Today we went back to the Magic Kingdom, as we had another lunch reservation at the Liberty Tree Tavern. But first, we rode It's A Small World again. Why did we ride it's a small world again? I don't know. However, I did find out that Katie knows all the words to the song - and it turns out there is an actual verse and not just an endless chorus. Take it away, Katie (just imagine a pink-skinned blonde muppet singing this):

It's a world of laughter
a world of tears
It's a world of hopes
and a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware

(repeat chorus for 45 minutes)

And, you know, I hate to belabor this point, but is there nothing else stereotypically French they could have the dolls doing but showing you their underwear in a huge kick line? How about a guy in one of those striped shirts and a beret making a baguette or something? Or taking some of his six weeks of paid vacation? (Come to think of it, where's America? Huh.)

After that it was time for lunch.

An exhaustive report on our lunch at the Liberty Tree Tavern

It was good.

I got the same salad again, and it turns out the mystery dressing is balsamic strawberry (???) which was tasty, but I'm not sure if it's what we had the last time. Since I liked it and ate all my salad, Katie developed a theory that I "stealth like strawberries," which I'm sure means I'm going to have to try lots of strawberry-flavored stuff and continue to get in trouble for making faces and comments like "Ew," and "Yuck," and "Barf," and "Ew yuckbarf".

Then we went on the haunted mansion, which was still neat. At one point the ride got stuck for a few minutes. Did it get stuck because they were hauling off the guy taking a flash photograph every 15 seconds and dragging him into a side room where they beat him with billy clubs? I hope so.

Dear guy taking flash photographs every 15 seconds

Do you really think any of those pictures are going to come out??

Then I almost got The Game of Life Haunted Mansion Edition, but nobody wants to play Life with me because I always win. (As opposed to Monopoly, where I'm accused of "cheating" because I offer deals like I'll give you the one land you need for your monopoly if I never have to pay rent. I am the 1%! Deal with it, looters!)
Next we went on the country bear jamboree. Yes, really. What can I even say about the country bear jamboree? Well, none of the animatronics have been updated in what seems like 50 years, so if you want a bunch of hick stereotype drunk overweight rapist bears in ill-fitting overalls singing country music to you, you're in luck! I don't want to be mean, but this seems like the ride you go on after you get kicked out of the Hall of Presidents for yelling SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE at robot Obama. (He doesn't have one; He's a robot.)
Next up we went on Pirates of the Caribbean. I know I said last time that this ride is pretty PG, but to the girl who was too afraid to ride it, if she's reading this: You look like you're about 15, I think you can handle it. Those skeletons and stuff aren't real. And if they are real, they can't get you. On second thought, scratch that; They are real, and they're hiding in your resort room right now aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Last we stopped at the Enchanted Tiki Room, which would take home weirdest thing of the whole trip in a landslide if we hadn't just had anamatronic hick stereotype bears bleating 50 year old country music at us. But we did, so it's a close second. I do want to ask, though, why do the two talking toucans who introduce the ride to you have a southern and a British accent, respectively? On second thought, never mind; If we start wondering why the tropical birds inside the tiki room have stereotypical Mexican, French, German, and Irish voices, we're going to be here all day. Anyway, the tiki room is a big theater you sit in, and then a bunch of ethic anamatronic birds sing to you from the rafters. Then a bunch of plants, including the ones on the wall, sing. Then the totem poles start chanting, except they're so old only half of them have functioning mouths. If it sounds weird, I promise you, it's even weirder in person.
Then we took the boat back to the resort. That's it for our trip; Tonight we'll pack - I'm going to see if I can talk Katie into bringing home all the mini-shampoos and shower gels we've accumulated - and tomorrow it's back to Albany (yay, hooray, yay).

Tomorrow: Katie embraces her destiny as "She-Ra, Princess of Power" and sets off to do battle with the evil Hordak. Probably.

Next Vacation: Probably in 2013. We'll probably stay at the Wilderness Lodge. I'll bring along our book full of Disney pins so we can keep track of which ones we already have. (Disney's pin trading/collecting world is a dark place you may enter but never leave; I've avoided writing about it since we didn't go too crazy, but it may be covered next time.) We'll visit Harry Potter Land at Universal, if only so I don't get punched in the face by certain Harry Potter fans. Everyone will ride jet bikes and be clip art faces on top of stick figure heads. I'll have thought up a clever ending for my last trip report.

Credits

Writer:
Nick Hammer

Director:
Nick Hammer

Executive Producer:
Nick Hammer

Associate Producer:
Katie Hammer

Key grip:
The Sun

Wardrobe provided by Katie's Mom of Delmar

Special thanks:
Katie, because she demanded that she go first
My dad, for driving us to the airport, and also hopefully remembering to pick us up tomorrow
Southwest Airlines, the only airline out there with a sense of humor
"Phineas & Ferb" & "The Rachel Maddow Show", for being just about the only watchable things on TV
Our maid, for cleaning up our filthy messes and making cute towel sculptures
Everyone at work, who hopefully won't be too mad I took 2 weeks off at the launch of new learning management system, which is a coincidence, I promise
Whoever invented air conditioning, which I'm too lazy to look up
Everyone who actually read these trip reports (that means you!)

Filmed on location at Walt Disney World, Florida, the United States, Earth, Orion-Cygnus arm of the Milky Way, Local Galactic Group, Virgo Supercluster

Ownership of this motion picture is protected by copyright and other
applicable laws and any unauthorized duplication, distribution, or
exhibition of this motion picture could result in criminal prosecution
as well as civil liability.



Nick Hammer will return in

OUR NEXT VACATION
Whenever that is.